When You Can’t Find Your Space

December 28, 2020

In her book Chosen for Christ*, Heather Holleman describes having dinner with a tight-knit family:

At this table, besides me, were grandparents, two teen brothers, a father and mother, and a daughter no more than six years old, all competing for attention. We all had so much to say. As we talked over one another, interrupting, laughing, and adding on to the comment just said before, I noticed something that pierced my heart.

The young daughter, so small she sat on her knees to reach the plate before her, tried to make her voice heard. She tried to enter into the conversation, but with everyone speaking over her, her face grew more and more frustrated with furrowed brows and a frown. I wondered if she would burst into tears, but instead she snuck out of her seat, tiptoed over to her Italian father at the head of the table next to me, pulled on his arm until he leaned down to her face, and whispered these words to him.

“Daddy, I cannot find my space. There’s no space for me to say what I need to say. I cannot find my space.”

I cannot find my space here.

The Italian father lifted his great hand into the air and silenced us all. He said, “This little one has something to say to us.”

In the silence, as the child stood by her father, she informed us all of her monumental news: she had a loose tooth. Then she returned to her seat.

Something about that … made me think. … We have something to say, but we cannot find our space. We have something to offer, but it often feels like nobody’s listening. …

Until you talk to the Father about it.

We enter 2021 tentatively. Hopefully with more gratitude, perhaps with more skepticism, likely with more sorrow, certainly with more uncertainty — especially now, when our days, our interactions, our very breaths still seem so very fragile. You may feel unseen and unheard in a thousand different ways. What then?

Talk to your Father. “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me” (Psalm 57:2). God will fulfill His purpose for you. “God never gets it wrong. … And even when all hope seems lost, remember he is the one ‘who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist’ (Romans 4:17) — and he will do that for you.”

Focus on the truth of your space. You are God’s treasured possession (Ephesians 1:13-14). And “you are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand” (Ephesians 2:10).

When you feel that you can’t find your space, run without hesitation to the God who holds up His mighty hand on your behalf and silences the chaos.

For a deeper look, read Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to Be Noticed,and listen to “Finding God’s Purpose for Your Life.”

*Holleman, Heather. “Chosen for Christ: Stepping Into the Life You’ve Been Missing.” Moody Publishers, 2018, pp. 104-105.

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Focus on the Family’s Counseling Staff is a group of highly experienced, state-licensed clinicians and pastoral counselors who specialize in addressing personal and family issues from a biblical perspective. Focus has enjoyed a long and valued referral relationship with Meier Clinics and other like-minded agencies who serve the cause of Christ in their clinical work. Focus on the Family offers free consultation through 1-855-771-HELP.

At Meier Clinics, all of our counseling staff are in agreement with our Christian statement of faith.   They are Christian and respect our clients’ beliefs, meeting our clients where they feel comfortable in their spiritual beliefs. Call us at 888-7CLINICS to get set up with one of our Christian counselors.


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